Thirty Nine

39. The last year of my 30s. I have envisioned celebrating it somewhere exciting, doing something memorable. This was supposed to be the year I experience New York, the year I celebrate with fun, laughter, alcohol and reckless abandon, the year I end my 30s with a bang! Another notch to be added to my travel and birthday adventures.

But my 39th was nothing but anticlimactic. I have spent 7 months in lockdown, with my only route being any of my Naughty Nachos branches and/or grocery runs. I woke up with indifference, knowing days before that my birthday will be greeted like any regular day. I have always made it a point to make plans during my birthday, if not with a trip then preparing something special. This time around I didn't feel anything different. It just felt like a normal day and adding to that the expectation of celebrating made it all the more sombering. 

We started the day with an unexpected NN run and despite driving all the way to Fairview for the unplanned task, I was greeted with a birthday coffee and sandwich combo which would guarantee to make even normal days better. Unbeknownst to my partners, I already knew they had a 'surprise' birthday cake tucked in the back of the car. I appreciate their effort to make this pandemic birthday special in our own little way. I reluctantly agreed to drive off to Tagaytay for lunch that turned into early dinner due to a 2 hr traffic and taking longer route due to our fear of random check points. With a lot of restaurants closed or already out of business, we ended up in this quaint local resto overlooking Taal, greeting the sunset and envying the spot being hogged by 3 ladies enjoying their bottle of wine. This was an apt way of greeting this unexpected birth year. Its the best representation of how this year was for me as well - with lots of unexpected turns, responsibilities demanding to be faced and a dozen crossroads along the way, you still have to see the beauty and always ALWAYS celebrate life. 

This has indeed been a year of uncertainty and realizations. I realized how life is short, that time can move so fast and trickle so slowly at the same time. I realized that we should all always express our love and appreciation to our loved ones coz we never know what tomorrow will bring. I realized that happiness and success are all relative and temporary, depending on your state of mind. I realized how finance and currency are social constructs that if u look at it, they're just pieces of paper made to believe to have value in this superfical world. I realized that despite all my birthday disappointment and complaints, I'm still lucky. Lucky to be given another year to live, lucky to have my family and loved ones around safe and healthy. Lucky that even without any added income, I get to experience life as we know it. Lucky that my partners took time to make me feel special and celebrate it the best way we can. Lucky to have even reached the age of 39. I am still lucky. Lucky enough to see and plan what the future has ahead for me. 

So for all those celebrating quarantine birthdays this 2020, make sure to remember, embrace and be thankful for the beauty of another year. Learn to forget what we are missing and be glad of what we have. Besides, isn't that the essence of celebrating ones Birth Day?